Difference between revisions of "Proposal talk:Dictionary of Sydney support letter"

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anne
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Firstly this is a great letter you write Liam. Thank you for the opportunity to participate, and so just a few suggestions on some words in the draft support letter.
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"...we write to express our concern..." [therefore 'we' and 'our' in lieu of 'I' and 'my' thus speaking on behalf of Wikimedia Australia, and signed off by John Vandenberg, President Wikimedia Australia]
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"...officially recognised as a national Chapter of the Wikimedia movement...' [i.e. not using the definitive article 'the' as we are one of many]
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"...copyright license that ensures the material can be used by third parties..." [suggesting replace 'may' with 'can'; e.g. because it can be used it may well be used. vs. it may be used but can it be used? if you see my meaning]
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"...considered world best practice..." [the apostrophe is possibly not required]
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"We draw your attention to the comprehensive acknowledgement..." [in lieu of "Please note...".]
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"...without which the global appreciation of Sydney's history would..." [i.e. world best practice (above) now becomes global appreciation]
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"...or related matters we would welcome your enquiry..." ['welcome your enquiry' states it positively, vs. 'please do not hesitate' is almost a double negative.]
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Thank you for the opportunity to participate; they are only small suggestions of minor change to an excellent letter.
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[[User:Austwithlove|Austwithlove]] 15:06, 25 July 2012 (EST) Anne Frazer

Revision as of 16:06, 25 July 2012

Firstly this is a great letter you write Liam. Thank you for the opportunity to participate, and so just a few suggestions on some words in the draft support letter.

"...we write to express our concern..." [therefore 'we' and 'our' in lieu of 'I' and 'my' thus speaking on behalf of Wikimedia Australia, and signed off by John Vandenberg, President Wikimedia Australia]

"...officially recognised as a national Chapter of the Wikimedia movement...' [i.e. not using the definitive article 'the' as we are one of many]

"...copyright license that ensures the material can be used by third parties..." [suggesting replace 'may' with 'can'; e.g. because it can be used it may well be used. vs. it may be used but can it be used? if you see my meaning]

"...considered world best practice..." [the apostrophe is possibly not required]

"We draw your attention to the comprehensive acknowledgement..." [in lieu of "Please note...".]

"...without which the global appreciation of Sydney's history would..." [i.e. world best practice (above) now becomes global appreciation]

"...or related matters we would welcome your enquiry..." ['welcome your enquiry' states it positively, vs. 'please do not hesitate' is almost a double negative.]

Thank you for the opportunity to participate; they are only small suggestions of minor change to an excellent letter.

Austwithlove 15:06, 25 July 2012 (EST) Anne Frazer